Manoj (name changed to protect the identity of every guy except Manoj. lol) – “I am not going to date any girl now. I will be 100% focused on my work.”
Rupak – “That’s good. All the best.”
Manoj – “Thanks, bro.”
Rupak – “If I may ask, can I know the reason for such an extreme decision?”
Manoj – “You give everything to a relationship and it does not work out. It pains a lot man. So, no more dating from now on.”
Rupak – “But you do want to get married, right?”
Manoj – “Yes. Off course. No plan to go to the Himalayas. hehe”
Rupak – “Your plan is not to date anyone till you get married. So emotionally you are shut off. Then one fine day, your parent will find a girl for you and you will get married. And what if she hurts you, you will run away from that too.”
Manoj – “Nope. That time I will manage and work on my emotions.”
Rupak – “So why can’t you do that now? Why you want to shut off your emotional life just because of a bad experience.”
Manoj – “So what should I do? Start dating many girls”
Rupak – “Don’t go to the other extreme. What I want to say is – don’t block yourself emotionally just because someone broke your heart. It’s okay to take a break for some time.
But in future, if you really meet someone with whom you can bond very well then do take a chance and ask her for a date”
Manoj – “What if she says no?”
Rupak – “Then the first thing to do is to leave her alone. Don’t act like a needy person. Then focus on how to manage your emotions. Feel the pain and learn to overcome it.
You should focus on how to be happy even after you get hurt and not to run from the situation permanently. Blocking yourself by not asking the person you feel for makes you feel lonelier.”
Manoj – “Yes that’s true. I have been feeling hollow inside at night once I have decided to never to date anyone ever again.”
Rupak – “It’s the circle, once you start ignoring your love feelings, then even your caring nature for others start decreasing. Your willingness to share your feelings with your friends and even parents start decreasing.
Therefore, never shut yourself up emotionally. Think twice before dating any girl but don’t ignore her just because there is the possibility of getting hurt in future.
Manoj – Got it, bro. I will keep that in mind.
Debriefing of this Story
Just because you get hurt once that does mean locking yourself emotionally. That does more harm than good, makes you cold as a person. Be open about your feelings (not desperate).
Some will hurt you but some will also make you happy. And at the end, life is about managing your happiness and sadness and not about ignoring your feelings.
Written by Rupak (rupakshah.com)